Peace Out! ...confessions from the waiting room

I pause from our ongoing Q&A posts to share with you an excerpt of my personal prayer journal this morning. It may also answer a few "where is your adoption at" questions.

_______________________________________________________________________
So much--yet so little--has happened since my last entry. Each passing day of waiting--ambiguous, bureaucratic, paper-chasing, email-anticipating, no phone-ringing, advocating intense--type of waiting comes with ample opportunity to nurture mutant strains of anxiety I never knew were possible to grow.

Philippians 4:6 struck me between the eyes this morning as I walked the familiar route to Tim Horton's with my Forever Families of Canada office on my back. My mind was racing, plotting, worrying, creating to do lists, going through the "what ifs", busy, busy, busy... Me, anxious?! It seems so un-Wendi-like! ...so vulnerable. ...yet so validated in our chronicles of adoption narnia. The anxiety bug was biting at my soul and biting hard. Chomp, chomp. Evidently, I am not immune to this rampant pandemic of anxiety. I need to check in with my Great Physician. I need to get a grip, his grip...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil.4:6-7)

I've heard this verse countless times - usually like a cute Hallmark reminder that makes me feel cozy. As I pounded the pavement with driven determination to my destination, I was not feeling cozy. I was feeling challenged. I was challenged to choose -unnaturally I might add - to give everything over to God, my heart's desires and all --not an easy feat for a, shall I say "driven", person like myself, ah em. But somewhere in the mix, I think "driven" surrender will find its rhythm when I allow God to be my Lord, like really, not as a cliche. I figure God must have made me feisty for a reason, and to give up on causes for justice and transformation would be to cut me off from breathing. He didn't give me a pink slip to my role in being a voice for the voiceless. If anything, He has been swinging open more doors, huge gates really, of opportunity to speak up. So why am I anxious?

I never noticed until today that this passage in Philippians does not promise our desired results, but promises God's peace to guard us. This passage God brought to mind was not my invite to play the "gimme gimme" game with Him. It was my invite to be more eager to be in a position of peace with God than for my desired outcome to come to pass. This is hard, especially when the pursuit is, well, worth fighting for. It is so easy to equate the two, rather than pursue God as being enough. 

I want both God and genie; his peace and my answered prayers. Today I can't have both. As I sip my Tim's dark roast, one cream, one sugar, I also brew over my options. So I am choosing God. I choose him in prayer, in petition, and in thankfulness for being my Lord in a depraved and suffering world. 

Jesus come! Come into our crooked and backwards foster care and adoption system. Come to our authorities and use them to bring transformation. Come speak life and vision to your Church so she might rise up against injustice or more so rise up against internal hypocrisy and indifference. Come set captive children free into loving families. Come to waiting families. Come to struggling families -- and be our peace, our Prince of Peace. Thank you God that you come to us and guide us, you fill us and you inspire us, you love us and you are in control.

I'm not backing down. I'm not giving in. God's biting back at my anxiety with an anti-retroviral peace that goes deeper than pathetic circumstances. Short from breaking out into a Kumbaya in the coffee shop, I am choosing to give it up to God and peace out in the waiting room of my soul. My soul is not pacing around anxiously any more, it is quietly doing push ups - getting ready for my turn to arm wrestle the enemy into submission.

I think it will be worth the wait!

#6: WHERE IS YOUR ADOPTION PROCESS AT?

#6: SO WHERE IS YOUR ADOPTION PROCESS AT?

Apologies for the lengthy silence. Many have been asking where things are at with our adoption process, and if I were to use an analogy I would say we are still in labour and delivery room while you sit in the waiting room, well... waiting. Things are happening, just no announcement... yet.

Since our last adoption update, where we were registered to adopt siblings domestically from the foster care system, we not only came to realize some major roadblocks within the system that we are passionate to address as a non-profit, but also were personally captivated by surprise to adopt from China. This was not something within our plans, but we sensed it was something we needed to be open to. So we committed to China! (I know, I know, many of you are now asking: "why would you adopt internationally when there are so many waiting kids in Canada?!" - Hang in there, that'll be my next blog entry, glad you are asking :)

So end of March we transferred from domestic too inter-country (China). Homestudy was already done and transferrable, so it was not a big administrative switch - or so we thought... No words to describe the agony of beaurocratic issues in completing simple tasks. I call it the Rube Goldberg machine of adoption (wikipedia definition: a contraption, invention, device or apparatus that is deliberately over-engineered or overdone to perform a very simple task in a very complicated fashion, usually including a chain reaction.) 

Fast-forward more than 3.5 months after switching to inter-country, we finally received provincial approval for China, and yes! for an older child, out-of-birth-order (which has historically not been approved in MB). There are no epidurals available for painful adoption processes, but like welcoming any child, it will be worth the pain and wait and push for change in our system, There has been much character-building opportunity in this long labour process, even a "miscarriage" along the way in a missed opportunity to adopt a special needs aging-out Chinese child on the shared list that we had been praying for. (But by God's grace, a family is rushing through paperwork right now and will be adopting him days before his 14th birthday, before he has no legal chance of ever having a family. Big phew! So happy for him and his new family!). 

Now we are waiting for the big push, when we receive a referral of our new child. And you will be one of the first to hear about it by staying connected to our blog (unless you hear our screaming of celebration in the air). We are told now that we have our provincial approval, a referral for a child could come quickly, as there are many older special needs children waiting to be adopted and few families lining up for older children. We still have much paper processing before us when the child is referred, but it "should be" less complicated and more predictable. Good bye Rube Goldberg?! Sure hope so, but never a guarantee.

Like any child born into the family, once they are in our arms, the work of raising them has just begun and we have much catch up to do with the child as they learn what it means to have a family, go through healing and attachment, and the many cultural/language adaptations. Some have questioned if we know what we are signing up for, in adopting an older institutionalized child (teen or tween), out-of-birth order from our younger biological children. Hey, this too will be addressed in a future blog. 

Stay tuned to more of our crazies, right here on park127.blogspot.ca!

#5: ARE YOU CRAZY?!

We want to thank all of our family, friends, and acquaintances for taking an interest in our lives, and for asking some really good questions. We think good questions deserve good explanations. These weeks we are posting the top 10 questions you are asking and our responses. Feel free to message us questions you may have. They may just make the top 10 :)


QUESTION #5: ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!

Photography by Kehlen

Okay, this is more of a rhetorical question that even the most well-intended person has asked us regarding adding to our family exponentially through adoption. It's meant in fun, sort of; but really communicates that we may be biting off more than we can chew, blind to the hazards ahead, and certainly not a Canadian normal. And they are right to some degree on all three points, which has lead us to one simple conclusion: we really need God. But so do you. And the next person, and the next. We need God. Sometimes it takes God calling us into crazy love to recognize this more deeply.

Some have said that we should rather have more kids "of our own" (meaning biological) because they "turn out so cute" as biracial children in our image. One person consoled us that God promises in Scripture to take care of the fatherless and that we should not take it upon ourselves and potentially disrupt our "perfect family". While I smiled and willingly accepted the "crazy" title, inwardly my convictions just were fortified yet to a deeper level, not only theologically, but also the fact that already adding Isinino to our family has simply made it more perfect (not the perfectionist OCD perfect, but the kind that makes things more complete, fulfilled, purposeful, albeit flawed and in need of grace).

So are we crazy?! In short, the answer is a resounding 'yes'. 
- We are crazy passionate for children to belong in families.
- We are crazy excited for who else God will bring into our family.
- We are crazy stirred by injustice and need for changes on micro and macro levels.
- We are crazy moved to do something about it.
- We are crazy. Just plain crazy. In the uninhibited way we express joy in the home.
- We are crazy thrilled to support, encourage, equip others in their journey to discover how they can make a difference.  

"Normal" is just an allusion that leads to disillusionment. Call us crazy, we are not offended. It's our new normal. ;-o  :)

#4: HOW DO YOU SUPPORT YOURSELVES?

We want to thank all of our family, friends, and acquaintances for taking an interest in our lives, and for asking some really good questions. We think good questions deserve good explanations. These weeks we are posting the top 10 questions you are asking and our responses. Feel free to message us questions you may have. They may just make the top 10 :)


QUESTION #4: HOW DO YOU SUPPORT YOURSELVES?

Did you know that 1+1=infinity? Of course it does ;)

Now, you are probably too polite to tell me to back away from accounting and I am probably too eager to agree with that assumption. But this time, I need to defend my case and share with you how this equation holds true for our family. 1+1 DOES = Infinity. Just blame the Apostle Paul for my math skills on this one :) 

Ephesians 3:20 NLT

Now glory be to God (1)! By his mighty power at work within us (+ 1), he is able to accomplish (=) infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.

How is it that 2 people, who give up the security of two full-time salaried positions, could possibly make ends meet while raising a family, pursuing adoption, and starting a national non-profit ministry? (a whole new meaning to "non-profit" lol) It seems to not all add up, like the equation I gave you earlier. We get where people are coming from when we are frequently asked about how we manage ourselves in this new (ab)normal. 

No time to haul out the violin and play us some droning music. And no, this blog is not going to pull a fast one on you with a paypal link below for the poor stupid couple who gave up job security to change the world (insert Canadian sarcastic tone here). This goes deeper than one's pockets. It's about 1 God patiently working within 1 flawed but seeking couple, showing to us that he is able to do infinitely more than what common sense tells us is reasonable.

At the time we resigned from our previous positions, it seemed like a HUGE leap of faith. Now looking back this past year, it seems like it wasn't so much a risky leap of faith as it was a trust issue. The same could be said in the present tense. I know God is our Provider, but do I really trust that God will provide for our family, the new ministry, the adoption? It's cute to trust God when I have things figured out and within calculated control. It's something fierce to trust Him when I don't. 

We wish we could recount to you all the ways that God has provided for us, like when support came to us on different occasions without even asking, when scholarships were granted to be at important conferences we needed to be at, hotel accommodations and billets offered to us without asking, or when children's clothing were passed on to us just at the right time, and you've likely already read about the time our van was healed while travelling. So maybe we live a little more simple, so what, it does us good. Our lives have been made richer by countless guests in our home like you wouldn't believe (I kid you not, we have 11 sleeping in beds under our roof tonight) Good times. This only is made sweeter by the fact that last summer when we made the transition, we found ourselves in a humourous situation where we had beds of all shapes and sizes find their way to our doorstep from different unrelated sources. Heaven must have sent out a memo that we would be needing them, because I never would have imagined it. Harold and I looked at each other with a curious smile and wondered how God would ever cause us to need soooo many beds. Tonight, every bed is being used, just right. And this hasn't been the first. That's how good God is. 

Not to leave you with visions of rainbows and unicorns, I need to confess that trusting is not always easy. What we think we need is not handed to us on a silver platter. God hasn't been our ATM machine, nor our genie in a bottle, and neither a bling-bling prosperity gospel show-off God. But we have all we need. It's in the provisions of what God knows we need that keep us in awe. Provisions don't come to us on our clock, on our budget forecast, nor do we have all we need for the vision God has given us moving forward... yet. But I do know that God can be trusted.

#3: HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU?

We want to thank all of our family, friends, and acquaintances for taking an interest in our lives, and for asking some really good questions. We think good questions deserve good explanations. These weeks we are posting the top 10 questions you are asking and our responses. Feel free to message us questions you may have. They may just make the top 10 :)

Question #3: HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU?

Ready to get your prayer on? We are so glad some of you are asking us!! In some ways it would be easier to simply blog the highlights and happy stories that people want to read, but it would be superficial if we did not also be vulnerable with you and let you in on some of things we need your prayers on. We are only kidding ourselves if we assume we can be on this adoption and ministry journey on our own strength. We truly appreciate your prayer support and hope you recognize the blessings God pours out on you as you partner with us in prayer. 

1) WISDOM: 

King Solomon was onto something when he pleaded with God for wisdom... "But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” 
We are not political leaders, like Solomon, but we are called to bring leadership and movement within the Canadian Church for the cause of waiting children and adoptive/fostering families. This. is. not. humanly. possible. without the guidance and wisdom from God. We need it, and we would love it if you interceded on our behalf as we plan, meet, research, advocate, speak and bring direction to the forming non-profit.

2) PROVISION:

We can certainly agree with the Psalmist (23) that "the Lord is our Shepherd, (we) shall not want." We have it good. We eat. We are relatively warm in this frigid weather (-34C to be exact). We have a roof over our heads. We are surrounded by a supportive community of friends and family. By global standards, we are filthy rich.

By asking your prayers for provisions, we don't simply mean prayer for our bank account and a guilt-ridden hint to pass the hat around. If our vision was for ourselves, we're good. But the vision God gave us extends way beyond ourselves and our personal capacity. There would be no way that we could take strides forward if not for the provisions of God along the way. So far so good, and God has proven himself to be the faithful God he says he is. But we continue to seek prayers of faith that He would continue to orchestrate the details so that we would not be stalled from growing forward. 

Currently our ministry is on a $0 operational budget in it's infancy, personal support aside (=one salary). Money is probably the easiest aspect for the Church to join in on, but underlying this, we pray for God to provide churches and leaders with a common vision for what God has placed on our hearts. We pray that we would be faith driven and that God would provide for all the details to get there; things like praying specifically for provisions to travel within Canada, to provide educational resources to various areas we are working in, to provide basic administrative gaps in the process, to provide favor over legal processes and buy-in of key influencers; and the provision of good family care and education options as we seek to balance ministry and family life. 

3) PROTECTION:

Please pray God's physical protection over our family as we find ourselves on the road travelling within province and beyond, in relation to our work. Travel for us is not about "oooh, a holiday" but a necessary part of forming a national network ministry.  This Spring, travels to BC, SK, and Chicago will find our Honda Odyssey rolling through many a highway as we continue meet, form, equip and be equipped in various destinations. If you have been following our posts, you will have read about our travel adventures last summer and the vehicle miracle we witnessed (see post "Oh Deer!"). Much of our travels include the family, others do not, as the kids stay with extended family and attend school. We value your ongoing prayers for protection.

Also, we value your prayers for spiritual protection over our family. I have personally experienced increased spiritual warfare as we step on enemy territory and become more proactive in addressing adoption and foster care within the Church. It truly is not against flesh and blood. I feel like we are moving from defense position to offense position as the vision God has given us runs in direct opposition to the enemy. Pray that we would be acutely aware of the unseen and be equipped and supported in this battle for justice, Truth, and Church awakening and mobilization in this ministry. I should hope the enemy trembles with waiting children finding homes and the Church being awakened to God, but we'd appreciate prayers as the enemy likes to take target practice at the messengers.

4) FAMILY:

Pray for us as a family, for our marriage (of almost 9 years strong), and each of our children (Isinino 21, Kehlen 5, Mikhala 3). 

Isinino will be graduating from high school this June! Pray for continued direction and that her heart would continue to seek after and discern the heart of God. Pray that God would raise her up to be a leading defender of the oppressed and compassionate advocate for Truth and justice. 

Kehlen is in Kindergarten and continues to ask theological questions of a seminary student. Pray that God would honour his seeking heart and make choices that would keep God central in his life. Pray that God would raise him up to be a God-fearing leader of wisdom and a compassionate helper among the weak. 

Mikhala is our free-spirited toddler and has just begun to expose her little, but mighty, mind to us. Pray that she would freely desire to know God more and that God would raise her up to be a bold and creative leader of mercy and faith.

5) ADOPTION PROCESS:

We are in the "hurry up and wait" mode these days. We are on the registry for a local sibling adoption from within the foster-care system, although we have no idea how quickly or slowly this process could take. One of the biggest factors may in fact be our request to go out of birth order in the adoption (meaning, we would desire to adopt siblings between Kehlen and Isinino's age, which typically they do not approve in our province but it IS being discussed on a provincial level now to see this changed!) Pray that the province would be more progressive in their adoption practices to bring more waiting children into homes.

Pray also for wisdom, as we are also open to looking internationally but need a sense of direction for what country and program to connect with in the process. Adoption laws and political stability of our country and foreign countries is always in flux, not to mention all the ethical considerations to keep informed on. We need wisdom, provision ($$), and favor to get through the red tape, hoops, and will of those in authority of our adoption process.
________________________________________________________________

This may be one of those blogs you choose to click print and physically post in a place you can be reminded to pray for on a regular basis. We would love to hear from you, if in prayer God gives you words, visions, pictures or impressions in the process of intercession. If God stirs something within you, let us know so we can pray with you as well. You can email us at hwpark127@gmail.com. 

#2: WILL YOU BE MOVING?

We want to thank all of our family, friends, and acquaintances for taking an interest in our lives, and for asking some really good questions. We think good questions deserve good explanations. These weeks we are posting the top 10 questions you are asking and our responses. Feel free to message us questions you may have. They may just make the top 10 :)


#2 WILL YOU BE MOVING?

Well, yes and no.

Let me first explain the NO.
We are not looking to relocate out of Winnipeg. We love our community and do not see a need to relocate, as much of our work can be done from virtually anywhere. We are praying that our Heavenly Daddy give us a larger home so that we can better meet the needs of our growing family, growing ministry, and ongoing hospitality.  So consider praying with us for a larger home. When that will happen is not on our watch, and how that will happen is on His provisions, so we continue to live contently in the home we are blessed with. Let's just say, we are cozy. Aside from our 5 family members, we enjoyed the company of at least 7 overnight guests this past month (ranging a few days to 6 weeks overlapping) and not going to try to even count others who came for a visit. Thankfully our guests are gracious to accept Mikhala's princess bedroom and Kehlen's bunkbed for nights, extended folding table for mealtimes, and all share the same bathroom. We are blessed, what can I say. All I know is that God is not hindered by a small home when it comes to hospitality, creating a national movement, and growing a family. We still love it here!

Aside from staying put with the same postal code, we ARE moving!
That brings me to the YES. We are being moved by the increased clarity and opportunities presented to us. (say awe here, and enjoy my serving of cheese). But seriously, we are seeing God move throughout Canada and we have been honoured to be part of the rippling effect that we see happening throughout our nation. The Canadian Church ain't seen nothing yet, and we truly believe that God is about to create a movement throughout Canada in response to Him and the needs of unparented children. For now, we celebrate the little things: like a 2 hour coffee with a lady filled with compassion who is stirred to do something within their church and wanting support; like a couple from across the country who is reaching out and taking the first steps in adopting children; like the church leader who says "tell me more"; and like the light bulb moment with a lady who wanted to know what version of the Bible we used in a sermon and we could tell her that ALL versions translate the same thing about us being adopted by God and how the Church is commanded to care for the fatherless. These may be but ripples, but a tide is coming :)

So in short, I suppose we are not moving but we are being moved.

#1 WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING?

We want to thank all of our family, friends, and acquaintances for taking an interest in our lives, and for asking some really good questions. We think good questions deserve good explanations. Over the next few weeks we will be posting the top 10 questions you are asking and our responses. Feel free to message us questions you may have. They may just make the top 10 :)

1) What exactly are you doing?
Good question. In 2013 we left perfectly lovely employment in both our dream fields of work with people we loved, but to do what?! Well, sometimes its not so much about job fulfillment that should guide us as is it is about willingly laying what we love and are comfortable with on the alter. We honestly have no regrets but only relieved that we did not escape the journey we were invited by God to go on. So what are we doing?

First of all, we are parenting our 3 kids. We are privileged to have the flexibility of juggling our roles around the kids routines and we take turns in parenting and our other work responsibilities. While we have school and church routines, we are blessed to make our ministry somewhat of a family ordeal. They come with us on trips and have been able to meet many of the people we work with. After all, we are promoting thriving families, so we also need to figure out how to do this without sacrificing our own. And sometimes it means one on one dates with the kids trumps other opportunities.

We are pioneering a new ministry that has yet to be launched. It's hard to explain things that cannot be seen yet in full. Just like a baby takes months to form in utero, this "baby" is going through a much needed process of healthy development. It's a...        We have no titles yet, no name of the organization yet, no defined job descriptions yet, no glossy brochure yet, nor impressive website or display to wow you. What we do know is that God has gone before us and is leading us into creating a national Christian network for churches, families and organizations to be networked and supported in the area of adoption, foster care, and other forms of caring for the unparented. How did this come about? Well, it's been a process, but clearly something we were thrust into. It may drive those wired for routine and predictability crazy, but it works well for us. But then again we are crazy ;-o

So day to day...

Harold is heavily invested in research and developing practical tools related to his doctoral work around parenting and attachment in adoption. He is getting training, resources, and professional connections and certifications to practically be able to equip others in building thriving forever families. Later this year, he plans to offer guided support groups for parents desiring support, as part of a pilot in his doctoral program.

I am focusing on leadership of the new ministry network being developed, strategic planning, and networking. We have been blessed to work closely with Focus on the Family Canada, ABBA Canada, CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans USA) and others, as we work together in developing this ministry. Because starting a non-profit ministry involves more than simply setting up shop, we are giving time and opportunity to form solid strategic relationships across Canada, USA, and other parts of the world. My office can be found at home in pajama's, at Tim Horton's, the Library, at a friend's office or where ever "Mommy!" is not on demand :).

Most of our work at this stage is done from in our home, at our computers with Skype, and occasional face to face opportunities meeting with others. This has been a great blessing for our family life, albeit a new challenge to balance work and play. We have been saying yes to speaking in churches, teaching a course on the subject, and meeting with leaders both within churches and those in government. A highlight is also simply connecting with parents and families who have so much insight and passion to see supports developed. We do this both face to face and over the internet.

While this answer seems somewhat vague, ambiguity is lifting each step of the way and we actually experience increased clarity in the day to day process of working towards the vision that God has planted within us. Harold stated it well to me yesterday when he described our ministry as not an aimless mystery that has swayed us from here to there, but thankfully looking back over 2013, we can clearly see that we are on a trajectory like an arrow that God is keeping on course. Please pray for us, that we would not get in the way of what God is doing but understand how we are to prioritize and plan our days.

School Daze

September to December has flown by, largely due to a whole gamut of school related involvements:

• Surprise new arrival of Wadzanayi Magaba, our Zimbabwean University student, who has joined our family and is living with us until the New Year. She just finished her last exam today and is one happy girl! I've been warned that beds will be jumped on :) We are going to send the older two to watch a movie to celebrate tonight. They have both worked hard this semester and we are so pleased how well they get along as sisters.
• Kehlen began Kindergarten - so we have a new school bus schedule, food to pack, backpack to get ready, concerts, fundraisers, etc. He is doing wonderful in French, and is starting to speak in full sentences as well as sing songs in French.
• Isinino began grade 12 - and this year we get to be more involved in her education in parent-teacher meetings, career expo, etc. Now we are being enlightened with all things grad, like grad dresses, scholarship applications, etc.
• Korean School! Perhaps the most unexpected bunch of students showed up for registration day in September, when whity mom (me), Caucasian looking biracial Asian kid, and Ethiopian older daughter sign up together for the family discount. After we got the initial "Wha?!" and "What brings you here?" Isinino proudly tells them that their dad (my husband) is Korean and we are a part-Korean family. But you know Asians and their dedication to academics - we have been getting lots and lots of Korean homework every week! But we are loving the experience together!
• And after the language class, Isinino is in K-pop dance - a Korean hip-hop class.  Kehlen and I are both in Tae Kwan Do. I am the oldest in the class, including older than our instructors - but cherishing every minute as Kehlen is still at the age he things its cool to do it together. Don't mess with this mommy & son ninja duo :)
• Harold has finalized his thesis topic for his doctoral work and is fine tuning his rationale and research. Look out 2014! We are going to conquer this project once and for all! :) I say we, because where there is a spouse doing his doctorate, there is a spouse to edit, research, and keep the pressure on.
• Harold completed his training certification for Circle of Security, something helpful in his counselling of families.
• Harold and I (Wendi) also went back to school this Fall - this time to team-teach an intensive course at Steinbach Bible College related to adoption and foster-care. What a great experience for us to engage approximately 40 students and community members on a topic we have grown so passionate about. We realized that we enjoy teaching together, and are finding other opportunities to work with churches and families seeking to be informed or supported.
• Mikhala is the only one not in school, although she and Kehlen have started Sunday School in our new home church of Gateway. They are loving it. This past Sunday she wrote the letters of her name on her poster project by herself, which surprised us as we have not taken the time to teach her. I guess all this school stuff in the family is rubbing off on her. She has also enjoyed playing at the Family Centre, which happens to be right across from Kehlen's classroom.

As our school daze winds down for 2013, we are gradually taking our noses out of books and focusing on the blessings we have gained in the process. Things like: greater awareness, deeper comprehension, greater appreciation, and the possibilities in the future. By far, the greatest Teacher who has overseen all of our educational pursuits and Who has made these opportunities possible, is God himself. In hindsight, these past months suddenly don't seem like a daze, but with clear purpose and on a positive trajectory for His glory.

The Month of Hyphen

Soooooooooooooo... it just so happens that 2013 forgot to include the month of August. Gasp! Did you notice? Gone! Vanished! We must report this to the Missing Month's Unit! There was July, and then there was September, with a very quick hyphen in between. I'll call it the month of Hyphen, the pseudo-month that replaced the good old 31 day calendar page of August. :)

Let me share a few highlights of this past month of Hyphen:

1) NACAC: Within days of arriving from our road trip throughout Western Canada (see previous post), Harold and I found ourselves boarding a plane for Toronto to attend the NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children) conference and meet with more representatives within the adoption and foster care field across North America. All the kids enjoyed holiday time with family in Manitoba, so it made our trip that much more enjoyable knowing they were having a blast. 

The conference was a royal feast of information, resources, and ah-hah moments accompanied by hundreds of experienced professionals (gov't and non-profit), parents and teens whose interactions left the fingerprints of Christ on our hearts as we were further guided in our research and development. As mentioned in my previous post, the clarity is coming one step at a time and we know God is up to something big. 

I'm not hiding anything from you, honest, when I say we are still in discovery mode and that we value your prayers in this ambiguous, yet ever-so-clarifying journey. It's easier for us to be in a position of the learner now, rather than delve in and concoct a quick fix over-inflated ministry that could soon end up as "they meant well, and now they are burned out trying." No, if anything of God-size magnitude is going to awaken the Canadian Church to live the gospel through significant involvement in adoption and foster care, its going to require more than what is humanly possible on our own timeline. We are along for the ride, learning, asking, probing, yet with all hands on deck, as we experience God's Spirit move even within this month of Hyphen.

2) Celebrations: (we just kept the balloons and streamers up)

• After about 11 months of waiting, Kehlen turned 5! He enjoyed the company of his friends to celebrate this much anticipated day. 
  
• Isinino celebrates her first birthday with us, turning 21! By request, a Korean birthday dinner was prepared for her friends (with chopsticks), followed by a sleepover and henna.
  
• We celebrated the arrival of a new puppy with our friend Javad, along with many other guests who filled our yard for the surprise puppy shower. 
  
• We celebrated a surprise visit from Harold's mom and sister Shirley, who blessed us with a week of good cooking, spoiling the kids, and memories. So we couldn't resist the opportunity to celebrate Omoni's 70th birthday, coming up now in September.
  
• And, surprise! It's another girl! (well at least for the short term) We welcomed the arrival of Wadzanayi of Zimbabwe who has just started university and needed a place to call home for this semester.
  
• Last year we had no kids to send off to school. This year we have 3! Kehlen is thrilled to start Kindergarten at our local French immersion school, and counts it of highest honour to be one of THREE household school kids. This is Isinino's graduating year from high school, and Wadzi is taking her university 1. 

3) Homestudy!! Yes, the much anticipated milestone of doing our adoption homestudy with our assigned social worker is in progress! With about one more meeting to go, our report will be ready for her to write. And then we wait... Could be days, months, years - but quite realistically the latter, only God knows. You can never get too good at the waiting game when adopting. It's a virtue that really should've been included in Proverbs 31 - that is, if the woman was an adoptive mom! But God's timing is perfect, and we really are not sitting and twiddling our adoptive thumbs for things to happen. Significant things are happening, and its mostly within us as our hearts and minds are stretched in ways we couldn't have imagined - allowing us to further grasp, even if just a wee bit - "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:18)

4) Epic Yard Sale: Inspired by Kehlen's desire to have "an expensive" garage sale to help raise funds for the adoption of his brother and sister, our month of Hyphen was further hyphenated by the collaborative efforts of family, friends and the neighbourhood. Thanks to all of you who gave so generously! Kehlen was director of operations, and also ran a lemonade and cookie stand. He must be catching the adoption fever, as he came up with the idea to have adoption information sessions at his lemonade stand for customers.

This past Hyphen, the obscure blur between July and September, reminds us that its not about how much we accomplish or do within our own control or strength. It's about how we embrace the One who gifts us each day in that indefinite hyphen that He gives us, from here until eternity.

God's Clues

Our youngest kids like to watch the adventures of a blue puppy and his enthusiastic friend in a green striped shirt. Ok, actually they LOVE to watch these thrift store VHS finds - Blues Clues. I'll admit, the videos have been known to even captivate me regularly as we search predictably for blue paw prints, record the clues in the Handy Dandy Notebook, and of course go to the Thinking Chair where all mysteries "unknown" are revealed, followed by an awkward victory dance of sorts. Go on, admit it, you likely could sing along with the song. "We've just figured out Blues Clues, we've just figured out..."

We've just come back from our own version of "God's Clues": Where are we seeing people respond to adoption and foster care needs? Who are active in adoption and foster care ministry? How is God stirring the Canadian Church? What are some common threads seen from those we encounter? What are some of the most prominent gaps?

We didn't wear green striped shirts, although we did carry around our handy dandy notebooks and jot down lots of clues regarding God's activity in adoption and foster care. Now that we are back from our 2.5 week Western God-chasing journey, we are sitting in our "Thinking Chair" as we reflect on all the many finger prints of God so evidently seen and experienced in the lives of individuals, couples, churches, and organizations throughout random places in Saskatchewan, Alberta, and BC.

While hitting a deer only hours into the trip was not our idea of a good start, the miracle of a healed van (read previous post), being blessed by family and professionals in Brandon, and being back on the road within hours--not days, only brought added delight to our journey. We call that clue in our journey "God has our back." Not a single whirring or thunka-thunking or honey-its-smoking to be reported for the entire rest of the trip. Thanks to all those who were praying.

Let me highlight just a few of many other clues of God's activity, seen on our trip:

• People from random places, with unique backgrounds and stories, have independently been responding to God's call on their hearts to personally get involved in ministry related to adoption and foster care in Canada. If you ever want a pick me up, just go out asking advocates on what gets them up every morning. While we have yet to see roaring flames of activity sweeping over Canada, we were greatly encouraged to discover sparks, flickers, and some more established flames that are emerging: Focus on the Family, Abba Canada, Spirit of Adoption Alberta, Centre Street Church, Rockpointe Church, Home for Every Child Adoption Society, individual pastors and families, to name a few. We also had meaningful encounters with ED's of secular non-profit organizations who gave insight and further resources: Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan, Adoptive Families Association of BC. So many "blind dates" (about 12 in all) as we shared meals and coffee with people that felt like long lost relatives with the same Abba God. Canada definitely has some dynamite people in the West to champion the cause of kids in need of care, although all would say more the merrier.

• We left our driveway July 9 not sure how God was going to blend our distinct, yet somewhat fuzzy, sense of direction with what is already happening on the Western Canadian front - if our Holy Spirity hunches and vision truly represented gap fillers that were in fact desired by those we were about to meet or if we would receive more understanding of a different direction we should rather be taking. The words "movement" "networking" "advocacy" "marriage and family support" held our interest and curiosity but we are just two Manitobans, coming out of nowhere, discovering how we are to join in with what God has already been doing. Now, as we roll back onto our driveway, we clearly see that only God could have placed those things on our hearts as they were continuously affirmed and clarified by those we met on our trip as much needed. Turns out, the clues we discovered along the way were far from random but perhaps, ok, not perhaps; rather something clearly orchestrated by God. We did not come back with a plethora of entrepreneurial ways to get involved, but a more clearer perspective of what has been distinctly stirred within us from the onset. We see God is on to something. "So what exactly are you looking to do?," you may be asking. I wish we could give you a nice glossy pamphlet, but we are learning to take one step at a time and allow development to occur as our partnerships and next steps become clear. As an ENTP (Myers-Briggs Assessment), it would be easy to try to jump ahead and lay out the whole strategic plans and vision, but I'm working hard not to jump ahead of where God has placed us in the moment. Keep checking in on this blog, as we will be sure to keep you posted.

• Another interesting discovery, thanks to encounters with some of the speakers, was of an upcoming NACAC (North American Council of Adoptable Children) conference being held in Toronto, August 8-10th  http://www.nacac.org/conference/NACACregistration.pdf.  What a great opportunity, only happening in Canada every 5 years. One thing leads to next and we find ourselves quickly repacking our bags to head East this week, giving opportunity to meet with up with Evangelical Fellowship Canada, and some others we anticipate connecting face-to-face with at the conference. While email, Skype, teleconferencing, etc is great progress in being able to broaden our circles, we continue to experience the value of meeting face to face and building deeper relational connections. An emoticon : )  doesn't always cut it. We look forward to more new connections to be made across North America and a wealth of informative and cutting edge presentations. Thanks to support from family and friends, whom God is using to supply our needs during this trip, our kids are looked after and our travel and accommodation needs met, just so. We are humbled by the generosity of time, financial resources and hospitality of those who willingly pull this one off in such short notice. You are part of our "God's Clues" story, which we are so grateful for.

So in essence, our "God's Clues" is not over. I only take this moment in my Thinking Chair to reflect on the sizable finger prints of God seen in recent weeks. The game's not done, only begun, although we can predict the challenging but ultimately victorious outcome. I look forward to the victory dance we can all share as a result of seeing more children in loving homes, more churches involved, more legislation in favor of building forever families, and more people understanding the heart of Abba God. We strongly believe brothers and sisters from across Canada will rise up and sing "We just figured out God's heart, We've just figured out God's heart..."

*(Stay tuned, we'll do another blog entry to share some personal family highlights we were able to balance our road trip with.)

Oh Deer!

We hit a bump along the road!

"Nice to meat you, deer." says Harold
Deer: no response

So we literally hit a bump along the road by running over a fresh road kill deer day one of our travels. Fortunately we were not injured and the accident happened 40 kilometers away from our aunt and uncle in Brandon. Who knew being related to angels would come so handy at 2am?!

The van was not drivable, nothing to show on the body as we literally drove right over it, but the van's belly valiently tenderized and seared the venison to rare, very rare at great speed. But we had no appetite for the meat shreds that remained attached to our van. The tow truck driver confirmed that there must be some serious damage as he tried to maneuver the van on and off the flatbed. Steering, brakes, floor panel, and who knows else what, all stopped us on our track in our journey in need for a tow truck and a very gracious aunt and uncle to take us all in. I mean, if you have a home of 2 people, what's another 6 in the middle of the night, right?!

So we sat in our injured rattling and seized up van and waited in the darkness of the night. Out with the glow sticks for the kids, we had a midnight roadside party! :) Turn up the music, make a few joke, but mostly wait and pray in our hearts that God would work all things out for His glory. And he did!

Long story short, God healed our van and we were on the road again the next afternoon! How??

Defying all odds and MPI's lengthy protocol (ok, and perhaps some assertive pro-action), we made our van insurance claim, estimation, and mechanical work done the very next morning within about 4 hours! Our initial advisory was that it could take about 7 days to process, estimation and approval alone, but God had other plans.

Did you know God can heal vehicles, not just humans? The night it was dropped off, the van had difficulty even getting into a parking spot, but next day the mechanic said it was working perfectly. They did a wheel alignment in the process, had several mechanics test it on the road and did various tests and could not find anything other than a dented floor panal (which did not compromise driving or our safety and will be done when we get back to MB). Wow, good to know we have proof that we were in fact in an accident (with the bent floor panal),

 not to mention the hanging meat, tuffs of fur, smell of a butcher shop and blood under the hood - otherwise no one may believe that we got into an accident. We picked up the van and the administrator said she'd never seen something like this and that we must have had many hands laid on this van to be driving off the lot in such timing. So for all you praying ones, we are truly grateful for your prayers as we know this trip is sustained by them.

So after getting the kids new car seats (compulsary by our our insurance coverage) and submitting all our towing and mechanical bills for full coverage, we were on our way, and made it safely to Papa and Mama's (my parents) in Hague Saskatchewan. We are enjoying our visit.

This afternoon Harold and I go into Saskatoon to meet with the ED of the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan.

Tomorrow we "plan" to get to Edmonton to continue our exploration, with the first-hand knowledge that God is in charge of this trip and is our mechanical healer and provider.

.

God Chasing

Our life these days has been kind of random, a lot of this and that (kind of like this blog entry), but in midst of pure circumstantial chaos there has been increasing clarity and purpose to this phase we are in. We are embracing ambiguity, trusting God's timing is perfect and we simply need to take one step at a time. From dry-walling and building bunk beds to teleconferencing and chatting with leaders around the world, from rearranging the whole house set-up in order to accommodate more people to planning our itinerary on our upcoming exploration trip. We have been blessed to have Omoni (Harold's mom) out from Vancouver this past month, as she has been a good source of encouragement and help with cooking and bonding with the kids.

...Speaking of trip, we will be letting my tool belt rest a bit while we devote the rest of this month to God chasing. God chasing?! you may ask. Well for us, we have been discovering pockets of activity in Western Canada where people are activating the Church in the adoption and foster care through advocacy, education, and practical support. We have already been connecting with them and will be meeting with them on our trek to get a deeper sense of what God is already doing in Canada and how we are to collaborate with the things God's put on our hearts. Along the way we will also have the opportunity to meet up with family and friends in SK, AB, and BC. Not to worry, we are not taking a U-haul. We will be back, and are not looking to relocate. Much work is needed in our province of Manitoba. Please pray for us while we go on this God chasing exploration trip, for safety and increasing clarity as we meet with others in this field.

You know Kehlen and Mikhala are getting into this whole adoption thing, when they start emulating what we do. The have been pitching in to "help" with the renovations and yesterday they called their own kids meeting to discuss raising funds for adopting their brother and sister. It was cute to observe. Mikhala had a crayon and paper and was "taking notes", Kehlen lead the meeting with a kids devotional and then proceeded to talk to his sister about planning "an expensive" garage sale to raise more than $100. Meanwhile they had their dolls and stuffed animals in a separate room and insisted that their big sister Isinino babysit them during the meeting. Never too young to be part of a movement!

Good news! We finally heard back from CFS and are scheduled to start our homestudy August 21. This is a critical, and long awaited, step in the process of adopting. It will also shed more light into how our adoption journey will take shape. We discovered in April that DRC (Congo) is not a possibility any more, as political winds change as rapid as our Manitoba weather, so we roll with it and are certain God's desire to increase our family through adoption will not be thwarted. We now have another possibility brewing, and the boundaries of our hearts have been broadened. More on this later...

We have enjoyed the addition of Isinino into our family. She is adjusting well, and finally unpacked all her belongings. In fact, she is the only one with a room that is set up fully, as the rest of us are being rearranged into different rooms too. She is working part-time with Youth Peacebuilders, helping in fine arts which communicates with kids her life story and adjustments as a refugee teenager to Canada. Isinino is a very gifted writer, and one of her poems will be presented at Winnipeg's Fringe Festival in a couple of weeks. We are so proud of her! It is a poem she wrote for an English assignment about her connection with me as her Canadian mom. Very special. She is looking forward to going on our trip, as this is her first time out West.

We welcome you to journey with us in the weeks to come as we update you on some of our discoveries.

It's a Girl!

The Park family welcomes Isinino into our home! (Ee-see-nee-no) I won't go on telling you her length and weight and what time she was born, because she would say "Mom, that's embarrassing!" Lol, teenagers.

So many have been asking about this anticipated arrival, and yesterday marked the day we moved our newest member of the family into our home. Although we have known her for several years since coming to Canada and she has become our daughter/big sister quite naturally already, it was right that she would call this officially home. Isinino has just finished exams this week and is looking forward to her final year of high school next year. 

Some say you need documents to validate parent/children ties. We say we are family because God brought us together. Adopted? Fostered? I'm not sure a label is necessary. Besides, would my son go on referring himself as my C-sectioned child? Nope, we are simply family and Kehlen and Mikhala are so thrilled to FINALLY have her move in permanently. She still has her biological family, some in Canada, some in her birth country, which we openly maintain contact with. But for now, God knew she needed us and God knew we had a special place in our hearts for her, so let the good times roll: times of laughter, nurture, building for future, and lots and lots of hope.

We've already enjoyed sharing many memories and we look forward to further discovering all that God has in store for this wonderful jewel. Tonight Harold is being treated to a belated Father's Day celebration, and they are going on a bike ride to get ice cream.

 (At Isinino's high school track meet)

(At Kehlen's Korean School Family Sports Day - missing, Kehlen the athlete :)

Preparing for a New Arrival

This post was intended to be submitted on the 17th, but I was whisked away with family for a much cherished family getaway. We spend a few days in Pinawa, enjoying nature, games, and good food. This was a multi-celebration: our 8th anniversary, the new transition of jobs, Halmoni (Grandma) visiting from Vancouver, and of course celebrating the best Daddy in 'da house!

But Wednesday morning is different... Ahhh, smell the scents of drywall, lumber, and good ol' human sweat. Ok, maybe don't smell, but you get the point. We are in a crunch to complete the remainder of our basement project because word is out that we are anticipating the arrival of a new family member into our home by the end of this week! Talk about friendly chaos, playing fruit basket upset with our bedrooms, family members, and visiting Omoni (Mom Park). It's a team effort and unique memories are being created as drywall competes for space with Lego and diapers.

Today is laundry day, as in working on our laundry room, and as in making our clothes dirty so we have something to launder when I hook up our machines next week. Yay! We've had a wonderful relationship with our next door laundromat (and owner) for the past 2+ years, but it's time this mama gets set up proper for some serious laundry business as our family increases over the next years. We are also working on creating another bathroom downstairs, yay, no more 'gotta go' dances for the kids.

I'm no Micah Holmes and Harold is no Arthur Stewart, but doing renos become so much more doable when you crunch the numbers. It's slow going, but so worth it, and actually looking pretty awesome for rookies.

And it will be worth it! 

Ok, now back to work :)

Season Finale June 16th - and the start of a new Park-King series!

We call this time in our life a "Season Finale" but also the start of a new upcoming "Park-King Series." Coming soon to a Theatre (I mean, Church community) near you. 

Over the past year, God has given us a heart for mobilizing and equipping Canadian church communities and their families to thrive in caring for vulnerable children through adoption and foster care. Through God’s guidance, and while we are in process of adopting children into our family as well, we are taking the next steps in research and development to pursue what our hearts have been awakened to. 

While we are still discovering what exactly this all entails, we do know it will involve taking part in a movement across Canada, with vulnerable children, families, churches, organizations, and government. We do know that God has been at work within us every step of the way, so to this end, we are just simply taking another step of faith. The "Producer" has been good to us, giving us just enough info, the right people and resources for now, and we are accepting the new roles.

As such, Harold has resigned from his role as Pastor, effective June 16. It was not an easy decision, although it was an obvious one for us that we both knew was right. We will miss our home church of 8.5 years, which has been a huge blessing to us all. We will still be living in Winnipeg, but are making intentional steps in clearing our slate for this next season. Can't do both. So to all our Southlanders out there, we love you and will be cheering for you as you run the race marked out for you.

It was 8 years ago that we (Harold and Wendi) covenanted before God in marriage, with a wedding text found in Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Service is a word of action, implying the fulfilling of someone else’s will. As our family seeks to serve God, we have been brought to the realization that God is calling us on from Southlands Community Church to a new ministry. 

We'll keep you posted for each new episode, officially starting June 17th. 

For those of you who like the spoilers, read below... The rest of you, check in with us next week for more :) 

Episode 1: Preparing for a new arrival (June 17)

Episode 2: It's a _______! (OK, can't spoil this one totally, check in June 24)

Episode 3: Exploring Orphan Care in Canada's Wild Wild West (July)

Thank you to all for taking interest in this blog and investing in us through encouragement and prayer. We'd love to hear from you, let us know how we can do the same for you.  

(Here is our self-made fashionista Mikhala taking her Mommy for a walk.)